- I'm tired of not having a husband. Ryan is still working 7 days a week and about 100 hours. After 4 and half weeks- I'm really tired of it. It sucks that we never have time to be together just the two of us. He stays up for about 2 hours when he gets home to unwind and play with the kids and then he's off to bed. Then I get about half an hour with him when he wakes up and gets ready to go back to work. The night shift just sucks.
- I'm tired of sleeping by myself. You might think- it's great- no one to bother me while I'm sleeping! But not me. I'm quite the snuggler and it takes me about 2 hours to fall asleep every night with out Ryan. It doesn't help that I have an overactive imagination and think every noise is someone breaking into the house.
- I'm tired of temper tantrums. Kate and Clark are going through the "test Mom on everything and throw temper tantrums over everything" stage. Since there's two of them in this phase- I have to deal with twice as many tantrums; which usually means we've had at least 5 tantrums by noon. I feel like such a bad Mom because I'm constantly on edge. I get so frustrated so quickly and don't have the patience to deal with it. So I either yell and get angry or turn on a movie so I don't have to deal with them for an hour. I've tried so hard to do fun things- the park, the library, the candy factory, the gardens at Thanksgiving Point, bike rides and playing with friends - but they throw fits no matter what.
- I'm tired of Kate and Clark fighting. That pretty much sums it up.
- I'm tired of having to run and do P90X to exercise. It's getting kinda old. You can only do those videos so many times before you go crazy. It's just hard to stay motivated with no variety and no one else to exercise with. Plus Kate and Clark are getting kinda heavy pushing in that baby jogger.
- I'm tired of not having any friends. I know I need to invest some energy in trying to make new friends, but I'm having a hard time being motivated. I just want to hang out and talk with all my friends who already know me. I don't want to have to walk on egg shells until I know if they can handle the real me or not! I miss hanging out at my Mom's house and just talking to her or seeing my sister Nancy and just talking about everything and nothing. Talking to 2 year olds all day is not very stimulating conversation. I miss Book Club and Bunco and all my friends at church. I miss Ellen and Josh coming over for 'bake off' every Sunday night.
- I'm just physically tired. Not sleeping well is catching up with me. I know that's probably the reason I'm so fed up with so many other things- I just don't have the energy to deal with anything anymore.
So there you have it. I hope you're not too depressed after reading that! I just had to get it off my chest.
8 comments:
Ugh, Jel I am so sorry things are so rough right now. You have my TOTAL understanding as to why you feel the way you do. Douglas drives me nuts and there is only one of him. I cannot imagine two of him, it would throw me over the edge. So as far as I am concerned, you are already doing much better than me : ) I am sorry your Husband is working so many hours. I can sort of relate with Tyler back in school. He goes to work from about 7 a,m until 4 p.m and is off to school by 5 p.m and doesn't get home until almost 10:30 p.m. I know that doesn't even compare to Ryan working 7 days a week, but I hope you know you have a friend here who does understand a little bit. Even though we are living with my Mom right now and it is so nice having her here to help, it's also hard because everything reminds me of my Dad. We are moving out next month, so hopefully that will get easier.
Complain and vent away my friend, you have every right too. We miss you at Bunco also and hope you will be able to come play again once you move back. I know it isn't much and it's not a friend who is THERE, but I am here for you. You are more than welcome to cry to me, vent, scream, etc. We have known each other for a LONG time : ) so I hope you know you can trust me and know that I will always listen.
Love you friend : )
I'm glad you took the time to vent. I can't imagine how hard it is up there. I totally understand the whole friend issue. What's the point in investing in a friendship if you're just going to leave in a couple months? In the meantime, you feel alone. That sucks. Maybe I can find a way for just me and Jack to come see you sometime. I know Mom's coming in Sept., so maybe Oct.
Even with your essential oils you still can't fall asleep? Have you tried Tylenol PM? I know you don't like using that stuff, but at least it's just tylenol and not some prescription med. I know people who use it occasionally.
You should get a Mac so we can all iChat. It's the bomb! Free conversations you could have everyday with me, Kami, Heather, Rob and Tiffany, Aimee and Hannah, Bridgett. See how many people you could be connected to if you only had a Mac? Maybe shopping for a new computer will do the trick and make you feel better! :-)
I love you! I miss you! And I'll pray for you until you come home!
Me to with the Prawers!! (prayers.) That Is how I felt when you left!!! And when you came back i nearly cried as those 2 little kids leaped into my arms!!! And they remembered me! And I didn't have to remind them who I am!!! And I miss you too!!!! Yelling at me when i do something wrong and then laughing after you had finished! I miss the smell of your house and how warm and inviting it felt when I stepped foot in there!! AND even Cleaning I think that I enjoyed i more than anything!! Cause all of the other houses that I clean make me tired and yours is so easy to clean!! All you have to do is pick up all of those stinkn' toys and vacuum!! It was so easy to clean!!!!! Sorry Nancy and my mom!! I MISS YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!!!!!!! Try using a body pillow to cuddle with!! Just sayin'!!!!!!
Hope all is HOPEFULLY going to improve or get better!!!!
Love and miss ya guys' SO DARN MUCH thell the baby's I said HI!!!!!!
Hannah ;-)
I can definitely relate! We moved 5 1/2 weeks ago to Las Vegas. I miss my family, I miss my friends. I miss AZ! I still haven't met any friends here...my kids have not friends. Which means it is just me and my kids all day everyday while my husband is at work. I feel for you!
Oh yeah, I noticed someone had said you needed a mac to ichat. I have a mac, but none of my family does. However, we use Skype. It works with both mac's and PC's...and is free! Maybe that will work for you, and you can video chat with family and friends!
skype.com
Just know that we love you down here:)
Jel, DO NOT beat yourself up!!! You are totally justified in feeling the way you do, and with Ryan working so much, you have pretty much all the responsibilities of making your home and family run! And that can be exhausting!!!! I am learning in my life, that sometimes when I just slow down and don't "TRY" so hard at everything, things just seem to flow better! Take a little break and try to just take it easy- allow yourself to enjoy life! Take a break from working out- or change up your schedule! Also, find some good babysitters in your ward- so you can have a break! It will be worth the money! Anyway, please know that you have MANY friends and family who love and miss you! Hang in there!
Well, just know that your friends down here miss you just as much! Sleeping on your own IS hard. I still have a hard time with it. I don't know how you do it! But you can call me anytime you need to vent! I am happy to help!
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